The Duniya ( The World)

 I will DISAPPEAR someday

Disappear like I was NEVER there

The clouds will keep MOVING 

So as the PEOPLE underneath the sky

Perhaps I will be SAD very very SAD

Not because things became THE SAME AS BEFORE 

Because of LEAVING my BELOVED THINGS behind 

Things I was so ATTACHED with

THINGS that I couldn't TAKE with me

Maybe I will keep CRYING and CRYING 

Not because I had to LEFT BEHIND my beloved things

I will cry out of FEARS, DARKNESS and BEING HELPLESS 

Which I never WISHED to EXPERIENCE, not even for ONCE 

BecauseI know I IGNORED, I never CARED, I LACKED in FULFILLING the REQUIREMENTS of the place we all truly belong

After reaching  to the PLACE perhaps 

Perhaps I will BEG for the LAST CHANCE 

But then I will get to know AR RAHMAN (the most merciful) already had given me NUMEROUS CHANCES in the DUNIYA ( The world)

I will keep saying RABBIGH FIRLI (oh! my Almighty FORGIVE ME) 

Because there might be a GOOD PERCENTAGE of FAILING in the TEST 

The test I never ever TERRIFIED for

Despite always having all the SOLUTIONS near me 

After being sent to the place there will be no point of REPENTING, REGRETTING and FEARING 

Because I was so ATTACHED with the DUNIYA (the world) and it's THINGS 

Which never let me BEND DOWN to my Almighty 

Because I had so many EXCUSES for being a HYPOCRITE 

I used to MISINTERPRET the MEANING of the VERSES of our holy book AL QUR'AN 

Because I was told that I'll be NEVER FORGIVEN if I make any GREATEST SINS 

Despite our Almighty CLEARLY said in the AL QUR'AN that "IT IS NEVER TOO LATE, COME REPENT I WILL FORGIVE YOU ALL BECAUSE I AM Al GHAFOOR (The ever FORGIVING)"

Even the GREATEST sin of all the 'SHIRK' will also be forgiven if we repent before we reach in the GRAVE 

But you know the SADDEST thing is that I learnt from my pre school ISLAMIC BOOK is that SHIRK will NEVER be forgiven!

 It  is a TRUE verse BUT WHERE IS THE NEXT VERSE in the School book to TEACH children that Allah SWT is EVER FORGIVING? 

That we will be forgiven if we REPENT TRULY from our HEART 

I used to read AL QUR'AN as much as I could but

But didn't try to know the MEANING when it was the HIGH TIME to LEARN and MEMORIZE 

Because I was never BOTHERED to CONNECT myself with Allah SWT

Despite I was CHASING the FAKE people to make CONNECTION with

Who used to JUDGE, MOCK and MISUNDERSTOOD me ALL THE TIME still

Still I tried to KEEP the CLOSENESS with them

On the other hand, I FORGOT that Allah SWT is AL-MU’IZZ (The Honourer, The Bestower)

I don't understand why people judge if someone is trying to be a PIOUS MUSLIMAH?

Shouldn't it be the PROUDEST thing for them?

We tend to forget to REMEMBER Allah SWT EASILY but

But we never forget to REMEMBER our FRIENDS, CLOSED ONES and OTHER PEOPLE 

I have seen the STRONGEST IMAAN of the PALESTINIANS but

But never felt ashamed of my WEAKEST IMAAN!

We are so ENGAGED in chasing HAPPINESS in this DUNIYA ( the world) that

That I didn't try to KNOW that Allah SWT is AD-DHARR (The Distressor)

And so we are being TESTED with DIFFICULTIES by MAALIK-UL-MULK (The Master of the Kingdom)

Imaan FLUCTUATES and it is normal I believe

I believe we just have to keep seeking HIDAYAH and FORGIVENESS 

Because Allah SWT is AL HAADI (The Guide)

We do ZINAH, HARAM THINGS in order to be COOL, SMART and WORTHY of being a MEMBER of the COOLEST GROUP

Because in this GENERATION people try to OPPRESS who tries to be a PIOUS MUSLIM

GUYS! we CLEARLY need to UNDERSTAND and KEEP REMINDING ourselves 

The UNIVERSAL TRUTH of Surah Al-Ankabut is that KULLU NAFSIN ZAIQATUL MAUT (Every soul shall taste death)

Perplexed

Is it okay to move on?

Move on from someone whom you desperately wanted

Now it feels like a rotten past with a fear of no future ahead

Sometimes there comes a question that why did I let someone hurt me that easily?

Sadly there's no answer to it but

But here comes another question that will you let the same person enter in your life to hurt you again?

Again there's no answer

Sometimes it breaks your self confidence which brings another question that what if I make the same blunder again?

Then you feel like you gotta trust your almighty and suddenly there comes a relief with a belief that not all the person are same!

But your overthinking mind fears to make the same blunder again

Sometimes you decide to give it a time to heal but then again the fear of losing people haunts you

It has been always hard for an introvert to get attach to someone where there's a terrifying fact that once we get emotionally attached we get hurt badly when the person leaves us

No one understands that we introverts don't have bunch of people to feel comfortably connected

Being in a confusing state hurts, sometimes you just wanna get along with a person but then again your overthinking mind gets triggered and you fear to step forward!

There's a saying that it needs time to heal but does it need someone else to heal?

No i'm not stuck in that moment as I feel like I left it a long time ago

And yeah when you feel like you've come ahead, you start questioning yourself that why don't you take an initiative to start a new story!